
Remember when you decided to become a firefighter? You went out and bought books to study for the written test, started working out your lungs and legs to help prepare for the fire academy, and practiced interview questions in the mirror. Maybe you were lucky enough to do a ride-along and get an inside look at what the firehouse culture is really like. Soon after, you began to dream about the day you would ride the rig and respond to calls with lights flashing as you ran red lights.
Then, finally, you get the call: You are the next candidate to attend the upcoming fire academy! You can’t wait to tell your parents the news. Young, fit, and enthusiastic, nothing else exists outside of the academy. You know there’s not much time for anything else because if you fail here, your dream is squandered. You persevere through the early mornings and grueling burn days, wearing an air pack and mask for eight hours a day. You can barely lift your arms, yet you push on because you know what’s at stake.
Then the moment arrives: graduation day! You are a completely different person; you have new lifelong friends, you have survived the gauntlet, and you are ready to serve the community as an official firefighter for your department. You raise your hand and take the oath of service, and a loved one pins a badge to your uniform. It’s the proudest moment of your young career.
Starting the Job
You make it through probation, continue to learn, and find mentors. Those mentors encourage you to attend outside training and conferences, read books, and listen to firefighter podcasts. You are passionate about the fire service and give it your all. It goes this way for a time. But if you’re lucky, your life changes for the better.
You find a spouse, someone to spend the rest of your life with, and you have children together. It is a beautiful phase of life. Becoming a parent suddenly becomes the proudest moment of your life. The responsibility of being a good parent and spouse is not an easy one. Nothing in your life leading up to this has prepared you for it. Luckily, every fire conference and mentor in your career has told you, “Family first, always.” Here’s the catch: That is easier said than done! Want to know why? Being a great firefighter comes with praise and glory from like-minded individuals; maybe you have even received an award or two. But being a good spouse and parent? That’s different. No one is lining up to shake your hand because you can change a diaper. There are no conferences (that you want to attend) for being a good spouse. No, this will all be determined by your own will and determination to do a thankless job. But I cannot overstate how important it is.
What is even more difficult is that you may feel like your skill set and status as a good firefighter are diminishing. You can no longer dedicate 100% of your time to the fire service, and you are usually exhausted before you even get to your shift. The recognition and glory dwindle, and you are having a hard time with it. You start to ponder: How can I continue to be a great firefighter while also being a great spouse and parent? You must make decisions that impact more people than just yourself. There’s no sugarcoating it; this is one of the hardest phases of your life.
Protect the Homefront
Let me give you some assurances: You will always be great if you protect the homefront. Take care of your family first; they will be by your side when your career ends. The hard truth is the fire service will move on without us. If you commit to your family, there’s a good chance multiple generations will carry on your legacy. If you choose the fire service over your family, your legacy ends with you.
Simply put, you will lose if you choose to deny your family for the glory of the fire service. If you focus on balancing your love and passion between family and fire, greatness will never leave you. Stay the course and persevere through this struggle as you did early on in the academy. I have found that balancing family and fire is a lot easier when I blend the two. Being open and transparent with my spouse about why my passion is so great helps her understand my “why.” In response, she fights for that passion as well because she knows it is what makes me who I am. If I choose not to be transparent with my family, and I am always gone on shift, at outside training, and at fire conferences, my family will learn to resent the fire service because it keeps me away from them. Your children do not understand the passion you feel for the fire service. All they know is this: “Dad’s gone.”
Establishing a legacy is not an easy achievement, but if you work hard for it, you will find fulfillment, personal happiness, and success both in your career and personal life. Stay the course and be relentless.
Bio:
Preston Lyons has served as a firefighter/paramedic at North Metro Fire in Colorado for nine years. He is a 10-year Navy veteran, where he began his firefighting career as an aircraft crash and salvage firefighter onboard the flight decks of aircraft carriers during the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. He gained his initial exposure to structural firefighting in the 850 area code as a volunteer firefighter in Escambia County, FL in 2010. Preston holds a bachelor’s degree in Fire and Emergency Services Administration and is the creator of Fit Fire Fortitude, a platform focused on uniting like-minded firefighters in their journey to relentlessly contest mediocrity.