If you’re old enough to remember Saturday morning cartoons, then you likely recall the classic merry melody about the grasshopper and the ant. It was based on Aesop’s ancient fable about preparing for hard times when times are good, about being ready for the coming winter by preparing when the weather is nice.
The grasshopper would dance the summer away, enjoying the sunshine and the abundant food. He would sing and dance without a care in the world. The ant worked hard, saving food and storing it for when the season would turn bad. The grasshopper would mock the ant, asking him why he would waste such beautiful weather.
Of course, the weather didn’t stay beautiful, and eventually winter arrived. We all know how it turned out for the grasshopper, and we all know who we want to be in that story.
There is a lot of wisdom in Aesop’s fables, especially considering they were written more than two thousand years ago. The wisdom from this story is important to understand when raising a family.
The fable of the grasshopper and the ant teaches us what having proactive priorities looks like. It is putting in the work when times are good, so that when the tough times hit and life throws challenges our way, we are ready to tackle them confidently.
It’s similar to the ant, diligently preparing for the inevitable challenges that lie ahead, rather than being caught off guard like the grasshopper.
Life is already hectic and becomes a whirlwind when children and careers enter the picture, propelling us into hyperspeed. Balancing multiple schedules and prioritizing tasks becomes a daunting challenge, especially for firefighters and their families who bear added responsibilities.
From juggling multiple jobs to attending children’s extracurricular activities and managing household tasks, every facet of life demands attention, often leaving little to no time to spare. As we strive to excel in our roles as spouses, parents, and professionals, the weight of our responsibilities can feel overwhelming.
Despite our best efforts, the never-ending to-do list looms large, leaving us struggling to keep up. Yet, amidst this chaos, our strength lies in proactive planning and a steadfast commitment to facing challenges together as a team.
Too often, people go through life just reacting to what life throws at them. They are like the grasshopper in Aesop’s fable. They wait for adversity to strike before they take action, a pattern prevalent in many lives. Whether it’s waiting to accumulate money when a financial crisis hits, or adding in an exercise routine when health issues arise. Caught in a perpetual cycle of reaction, they fail to proactively address life’s challenges until faced head on with them.
Being proactive in our priorities is a major step to improving the effectiveness of our efforts. This is a principle that applies to every aspect of life, from career growth to managing household emergencies and everything in between, the concept of proactive priorities is powerful. Embracing this not only empowers us individually, but it is exponentially so when we apply it to our relationships, particularly to our marriage. Adopting a proactive approach to life in general helps us to navigate the uncertainties with greater resilience and success.
When things are going smooth, take the time to sit down with your partner and discuss the priorities of your marriage and your family, much like the ant laying up supplies while the weather was good. Don’t wait until the winter of life’s challenges is upon you to scramble and try to figure out what needs to be done.
Proactive communication and shared expectations are the key to success in weathering life’s storms together. The following is just a short list of things you could discuss and make sure that you both have the same expectations and are prepared for whatever comes your way.
- Financial Planning: Discuss your financial goals, budgeting strategies, and how you plan to handle unexpected expenses or emergencies, especially on days your firefighter is on shift.
- Raising Kids: Discuss your parenting philosophy, disciplinary approaches, and long-term goals for raising children. Strive for consistency and implement strategies for maintaining routines, even during fire department shift days. This is vital for preserving the structure of the family and ensuring stability in your children’s routines.
- Emergency Preparedness: Develop an emergency plan for your family and include ways to handle them. Discuss and role play evacuation plans to ensure safety and confidence with everyone in the home. This plan should outline clear steps to follow in situations such as fires, natural disasters, or medical emergencies. Include designated meeting points and escape routes and update the plan regularly as the family grows.
- Support System: Strengthening your support system involves proactively nurturing relationships with friends and family members who can offer assistance during challenging times. Create a network of trusted individuals who can provide emotional support, practical help, and temporary relief from responsibilities when needed.
- Health and Wellness: Lead by example and prioritize physical fitness and nutrition as a family, discussing ways to maintain a healthy lifestyle despite the demands of a firefighter’s schedule.
When life is going well and you actively prioritize these aspects, coordinating your lives together becomes smoother. This proactive approach not only helps manage everyday challenges like children, schedules, and finances but also strengthens the bond between you and your partner. It’s crucial to prioritize each other and the health of your relationship amidst the busyness of life. So, in addition to other priorities, don’t forget to make time for each other. Take the time to prioritize these things too:
- Date Nights: Schedule regular date nights, whether it’s dining out, catching a movie, or enjoying a quiet evening at home. Prioritize these moments to strengthen your bond and relationship.
- Romance: Take the time to express your love and appreciation for each other regularly, showing that you value the connection you both share.
- Intimacy and Sex: Make it a priority to connect physically and emotionally with one another despite life’s hectic demands.
- Getaways: Plan occasional getaways or weekends away to escape the routines of everyday life. Grow closer together while creating lasting memories as a couple.
This concept is straightforward: when a couple embraces the idea of proactive priorities, it lays the groundwork for smoother operations. However, “smooth” doesn’t equate to flawless. Life’s unpredictability affects everyone.
Firefighters and their families aren’t alone in facing chaos; it’s a shared reality for all of us. So here’s our challenge to you: Be different from the norm! Draw inspiration from Aesop’s Fable and put in the hard work before the storms hit. Dedicate time to strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Be proactive when addressing the priorities of your relationship and get on the same page with your partner in all aspects of life. While it may require effort, the rewards are immeasurable. Make the commitment to prioritize each other and your relationship, together you can crush any challenge life throws your way.
BIO:
Corley and Amanda Moore married in 1996 are parents to 3 now-adult children; two daughters, one a schoolteacher and the other a nurse, and their only son, a firefighter. Corley, a firefighter since 1997, currently a Battalion Chief, and Amanda, a business owner. Together they run Firehouse Vigilance and The Weekly Scrap, firefighter podcast. You can find them traveling, and speaking across the country. They are fully involved in their businesses, assisting fire families, and soaking up as much time as they possibly can with their own growing family. Together they hope to leave a legacy of building and fostering healthy relationships that positively impact generations to come.
