By Blake Stinnett
There has been a lingering thought in my mind for quite some time, and it is this: “All it takes to make a difference is for someone to care.” This statement continues to prove itself true repeatedly.
The fire service is filled with individuals who excel at their jobs—they show up, perform their duties, and move on. Some even share their passion for the craft with those around them. However, there’s more to it than just the job. While that aspect is essential and honorable, we must recognize that there’s more to our profession than the tasks at hand.
It’s crucial to prioritize genuinely caring about the people we work alongside. By this, I don’t mean merely spending time together at the firehouse or contributing a few dollars to a colleague’s fundraiser. I mean actively showing up with the intent of serving your brother or sister.
Our career is unlike others, and we acknowledge and embrace that fact. But to what extent are we embracing it? Are we genuinely being family members to those we work with? This involves asking how they are, not with the intention of moving on when they say, “Just living the dream.” Take a moment to stop and dive into the conversation. Don’t settle for a brief answer; that’s not what they need. Inquire about their family and know their family members by name. Ask about their days off.
Consider calling your colleagues on one of their days off just to talk for a minute. This simple gesture can significantly impact you and your team. It may feel awkward initially, but, like any other aspect of our job, they’ll get used to it.
The good news is that caring for your colleagues is a two-fold process. The saying “You reap what you sow” holds both positive and negative connotations. Most often, when someone mentions this saying, it’s not in a positive context. However, it can be. Let your actions be deserving of positive outcomes and respectful treatment.
I’m not suggesting doing good things with the expectation of receiving something in return because that’s not the right attitude. Instead, do good and treat people well regardless of the reciprocation. Even if you’re treated poorly, stay the course. You will never go wrong by genuinely caring for the people you work with. This is what truly brings about the most significant change. If you haven’t experienced that, I challenge you to become a difference-maker in your firehouse, among your crew. You might wonder, “What does this look like?”—and that’s a great question.
The worst that can happen is that you appear to care. That’s not a bad reputation to have. People will grow to accept it; trust me, I’m speaking from experience. Caring about people doesn’t make you peculiar.
My approach is straightforward. I ask the members of my crew how they’re doing and engage them in a conversation. Sometimes it sounds like this: “Hey, what’s going on? Let’s talk about it right now.” I typically try to do this when it’s just me and that person.
There have been times when the conversation is short and sweet, with them saying, “Actually, things couldn’t be any better right now!” However, there have also been times when that question opened up meaningful conversations.
Be prepared for both scenarios and be willing to sit in the trenches with them when needed. It might be awkward at first, but let’s be honest, we do much more awkward and questionable things inside our firehouses than asking someone a meaningful question! Serve your colleagues well and make something good of it.
We must serve our colleagues with the same mindset with which we serve our community. Haven’t we vowed to give our lives for them? Absolutely. Just as we vowed and promised to do everything within our capabilities to save a downed firefighter. In fact, we train and dedicate countless hours to learning how to rescue them if the situation arises. We should be equally willing to do everything we can to serve, protect, and save the life of our brother or sister who is also struggling with their mental health.
We all have battles, whether they’re vocalized or silent. Honestly, mental health shouldn’t be something we take a vow of silence on. The worst that can happen is that people see that you’re human. The worst that can happen is that someone opens up and talks about their struggles in return.
We need to be our brother’s keeper. There’s no bond stronger than a crew who lives life together—one that sweats, bleeds, and occasionally cries together. When you decide to get over yourself, you’ll see the impact you can have. Pour into your colleagues as you pour into the job; it will prove beneficial.
If you don’t have this camaraderie where you are, break outside the four walls of your firehouse or fire department and find it elsewhere. The brotherhood is not dead; it still exists and is alive and well. Give yourself what you need, build a support system that not only wants to see you succeed as a high-quality firefighter but also as a firefighter who cares about those around them.
One of my favorite things is when someone is introduced as “a hell of a fireman” and it’s immediately followed up with, “and they will give you the shirt off their back.” Seek to find those people in the fire service and strive to be that person yourself. These are the people you want to roll with, learn from, and be labeled as.
In my personal opinion, being good at the job is cool, but a person’s character means much more than the skills they possess. You can be top-notch, but if you don’t care about others, I couldn’t care less about what you know or what you’ve accomplished. You can be both a good firefighter and a caring person, and it will be well-respected when you are.
In summary, care for the people you work with. This care should extend to both the job and who they are as individuals. Pour into them, but also remember that you need to be poured into yourself. You can’t fill the cups of others if yours is empty.
People can be difficult, but the challenges you overcome are worth the effort required. Take a moment to assess yourself. Are you hitting the mark in this area of life? If not, realign your sights and try again. This is what the job should center on. We should understand that our job is to serve the communities and citizens within them at a professional level. However, it should be equally important to serve those beside you, providing them with everything you’ve got so they are prepared and taken care of for what’s to come.
It’s time to make a change among our people because, without them, the community has no one to come to their rescue. That change can start with you. Regardless of your rank, workplace, company, or apparatus, you have the ability to change lives. It’s no longer a secret that our profession struggles with mental health issues. It’s no longer a secret that we have our very own taking their lives. And truthfully, the numbers don’t matter. Whether we lose one or one hundred, we have an issue.
Let’s make a conscious choice to change that and help our brothers and sisters see that they are valued, and their lives truly matter. All it takes is one conversation to change someone’s mind. All it takes is one question asked to help someone see they matter. Challenge yourself to care every day you show up, make that decision before you walk in the doors, and don’t waiver. This is for us.
Blake Stinnett is Founder/Director of Next Rung
