According to the American Psychiatric Association(APA), “Posttraumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) affects approximately 3.5 percent of U.S. adults, and an estimated one in 11 people will be diagnosed with PTSD in their lifetime.” The APA defines PTSD as “a psychiatric disorder that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, war/combat, rape, or other violent personal assault.
PTSD has been known as many names in the past, such as ‘shell shock’ during the years of World War I and ‘combat fatigue’ after World War II. PTSD does not just happen to combat veterans. PTSD can occur in all people, in people of any ethnicity, nationality or culture, and any age.”
So why did I choose to write about this subject? After all, I’m not a doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. I chose to write this in hopes to shed some light on what I feel is the over saturation of people with PTSD and its relationship to us becoming an extremely soft society. I know this will be a touchy and controversial subject. I also know there are people that truly suffer from what they have experienced.
Lately though, it seems that every time you turn around you’ll hear someone claim they have PTSD. Either through self-diagnosis or from some sort of “clinician.” Frankly, I am growing tired of it. Nothing in life hits as hard as life itself. One minute your chugging along and the next minute life will beat you down and keep you there if you let it. Some people don’t have the skills to cope with these daily troubles. Sadly, 20 soldiers commit suicide a day and according to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. That is unacceptable! There is an abundance of help out there. If you don’t have a strong family network, reach out to someone who can help. I encourage you to seek help. In general, people allow life to overwhelm them and mentally beat them down. They have difficulty existing day to day, but this is not PTSD.
So, at this point you might be asking yourself, “What does this guy really know?” I know more than some and less than others. I have experienced hardship and my fair share of life-threatening events. What I do know is from my experience. I have never really cared how the “experts” think I or we are supposed to heal. We all “heal” in our own way. I especially get irritated because many of these experts haven’t seen or gone through half of what we have been.
This is what I believe… We all experience Post Traumatic Stress (PTS). Bad things happen and with my experience in the military and the fire service, I have seen more than my share. Anyone who has been doing this job long enough has. But, PTS doesn’t have to become PTSD. It doesn’t have to define us or become our identity. We don’t have to be broken and it certainly isn’t a death sentence.
My story is different from most. By the measure of some, I have seen more than my share. I’ve buried a child; watched another suffer through medical issues while coping with the loss of her sister; I have an autistic son; went through a divorce; deployed to Iraq; killed the enemy; watched fellow soldiers and friends be killed and injured; was injured in combat; and watched people be pulled from fires and car accidents, often lifeless. I have never let any of this define me; I have never let it beat me down. I believe we can grow exponentially from our traumatic experiences. PTS can lead to growth. Whether in the fire service or the military, life experience helps us grow as human beings and makes us who we are. A good friend and I were talking, and he said to me, “I don’t like the quote, ‘I wish my mind could forget what my eyes have seen, those memories are what I am made of.” I couldn’t agree more with this statement. Everything I have gone through is part of who I am. I tend to view my experiences in a positive way. I have killed the enemy during combat operations in Iraq. I have seen my friends and fellow soldiers burn up or blown up. I’ve pulled men, women, and children out of fires. I’ve seen car crashes with severed limbs and death. My adult life is constantly riddled with the things horror movies are made of. I don’t want to forget these things. I don’t want to dwell on them, but I want to grow every single day from these experiences.
So how do I prevent these things from getting to me? Why am I not having nightmares every night or being medicated to keep me moving? I choose every day to make a difference for myself and more importantly for my family. I choose not to be a victim; I don’t let myself get absorbed in self-pity. You can’t be lazy and soft. You go out and you find your WHY! You get up early and train on whatever makes you better. You pour your blood, sweat, and tears into it. You train so hard you collapse! You then go shower and you look at yourself in the mirror to find that inner soul. You try and look your best and dress nice every day. Then you must realize and understand that the real work is about to start.
So…What is your WHY? To succeed it must be bigger than you! Make it your passion; the reason you have been put on this earth. Then pour every ounce of who you are into it. If that’s your family, be the best father and husband on Earth. If you are a cop, fireman, or trash man, be the absolute BEST! Know all there is to know about the job and master your craft. Be in better shape mentally and physically than everyone else and serve the community like it’s your reason for living. Remember, you are not a victim! When you finally get home, be a generous lover and then collapse into bed. You should be falling asleep before your head hits the pillow because you worked so hard every moment of the day. Get up the next day…. and start all over again. At some point, and I’m not sure when that will be; you won’t need to do these things any more. But, you will because you are making a difference in your life or someone else’s life. It will no longer be about you. It will be about the fact you are contributing and giving. It will be about being the best version of you. It also affords you the notion that you no longer give a crap about what other people think of you or what you are doing. If you are doing the right thing and you believe in it, you are incorruptible. You will be leading a life of honor, integrity, selfless service, and trust.
When you finally get to those pearly gates and get to see your brothers and sisters they will “good game” you as you walk by, because you made their lives meaningful. Hell, you might even get a little wink and a pat on the ass from the creator himself.
Kelly Lemmons was born in Vicenza, Italy. He is the Deputy Chief of the Colonial Park Fire Company and a firefighter/EMT for the Defense Logistics Agency. Kelly has served over 19 years in the PA Army National Guard, 15 1/2 of those years he served in the Long Range Reconnaissance Unit as a Team Leader. He is currently a Staff Sergeant serving as an Infantry Advance Leaders Course Instructor. Kelly was awarded the Purple Heart due to injuries sustained while conducting combat operations in Iraq in 2005 – 2006.
