Cancer: The Untold Hardships

Cleveland firefighter with hoseline
Photo: Cleveland (OH) Fire Department PIO

As firefighters, we train for fires, rescue calls, medical calls, hazmat calls, and all types of incidents, including dealing with the public in all forms. We work day in and day out to be ready for the tough calls that come. We train to do all this in our sleep, because when the bell rings we must be able to jump in and go. We train to do all this to make ourselves better to protect those we are called on to protect. Then we go in for our normal medical check only to hear the words you have cancer. Now, who do we as firefighters turn to when our world falls apart?

When I heard the words, “You have cancer,” I felt like the world was coming down. I felt like I had no one to turn to because, as a firefighter, I always felt that I had everything under control. After learning the diagnosis, I felt like I was going to be a burden on my family, and I felt like that would cause them undue harm. We met with the doctors to draw up a plan, but when the plan started, I had to come off shift because of the meds. I remember walking out that day and getting into my truck. The weight was crushing. I did not want to lose my job, my brothers on shift, or the family I had at the firehouse. Most of all, I had to consider how I would keep providing for my family at home.

The Silence

Then the untold hardships started. Phone calls and text messages stopped. Then I stopped wanting to reach out because I thought I was a burden to others. As firefighters, we thrive on having our brother and sisters around. We give each other trouble constantly. We cook together, watch movies together, live together at the station, and build a family bond. When we lose those things, our lives start to crumble. The hours turn to days, days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months. The longer it went on, the fewer the texts, calls, and visits.

We wake up to days of pain and days of feeling lost. When I started my treatment, I was making great progress on the health side, but the stress side was another story. I let my stress start controlling my daily live, and that started causing harm to my family. As my treatments went on, I started feeling that I no longer had the same kind of purpose. Without the firehouse, what did I have? What did I have to keep me moving forward? How do I cope with not knowing what the next doctor’s visit would shake out? The bills were piling up and the only calls I seem to get were the calls of bill collectors. The nights got longer, and the days seemed to never end, with “what if” constantly hanging overhead.

I would run into firefighters from time to time who would say, “Man, you look good. How’s it going? I was going to call or text you but did not want to burden you.” I wanted to reply, “I need those calls and texts, but they never come.” As a firefighter, I needed to hear from the brothers and sisters, to have their support to help get my stress down. I needed to hear that I still meant something to the crew. I needed to hear that, no matter what happened, it was going to be okay. I needed to know that, if the worst did happen, my brothers on the crew would look after my family.

Over my 25 years in the fire service, I have always tried my best to reach out to others when needed. The fire service is truly great when it comes to working together as a team on a bad call, making sure to look after one another no matter what. We always go above and beyond to help one another on shift to make sure we go home safe. But what do we do when our brothers and sisters are hurting?

Some Proposals and a Note on Pride

What can the fire service do moving forward? Let’s start here: when we get the word that our brother or sister is hurting, we stand up to the problem with our brother or sister. We help them. We stand with them. We hold them up when they cannot get themselves up. We text, we call, we go pick them up, and tell them we are going out to eat, and going for a ride to clear their minds. These are just a few ways to help each other get over the dark side. As all doctors say, less stress is good for your health. Let’s all work together when one of us is hurting to work as a crew to help get our brothers and sisters all the help they need, even if that help is only a phone call.

I am truly looking forward to where the fire service is headed. I look forward to being able to be a part of the new fire service of the future, to being a leader of change for the better of the service. I want to show the way to the new fire fighters coming on that, although the old ways of the fire service are great, we must make some changes to bring the fire service to the next level.

Once I was asked the definition of pride. The term cuts both ways, however. I feel pride should refer to having pride in your station, your truck, your dress, and the way you work with your crew. Alternately, we must also teach that we should not let pride get in the way of asking for help when you need it. We as the fire service must change in that we must show it’s okay to ask for help when it’s needed.

Calvin Hitchcock has dedicated the past 25 years to the fire service in Georgia, working with local departments and collaborating with GEMA and FEMA on various assignments. Calvin also serves with the South Georgia Honor Guard, honoring the fallen and representing the fire service with dignity. In addition to his professional work, he has battled cancer for the past two years. He now serves as the Resources Director for the Firefighter Cancer Foundation, supporting others facing similar challenges. A devoted husband and father of two boys, Calvin continues to balance his career, health, and family with resilience and grace.

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