Would You Do It Again?

By Steven Negedly

There is a saying that being a firefighter is a calling. It is not for everyone; only certain people are called into this profession. I would agree with these statements. Being a firefighter is a calling. It takes a rare breed to do this job. Why is it this way? The profession in its own way is a difficult one to enter. In the past, firefighters would apply and attempt to get into this profession by working hard and putting in countless hours to better themselves and make their resume better than the next one. The competition to get hired was fierce, and not everyone coming out of firefighting school would get jobs working as firefighters. The standards were set high to get the best qualified person for the position. Those of us in the fire service take pride in this tradition. Work hard and earn your way–it is something we have done for decades. It took a lot to get into this profession, and we earned our way in.

Once on the job, firefighters will do things and see things that no normal person should ever have to see. They will do things that would horrify a person. They are exposed to some of the worst working environments–building fires, hazardous materials incidents, shootings, and vehicle accidents. There is no limit to what a firefighter may respond to. Yes, we do still get sent to a cat in a tree occasionally or, my favorite, a parrot in a tree. When people do not know who to call, they call 911. Firefighters will voluntarily enter a house that is on fire and they will risk their life to save another. They will do this for a person they do not even know. They will do this for a person they may never see again. They risk their life for others. When firefighters get hired, they take an oath to protect life and save property. They are willing to risk everything to save others. They put others before themselves. This selfless attitude makes a firefighter a special person. Not everyone is willing to make this sacrifice. Not everyone is willing to risk their life to save another. This is just another reason they say firefighting is a calling.

Since the number of fires are becoming more infrequent, this act of heroism has in recent years diminished, but the day-to-day issues that firefighters deal with have not. Every shift that a firefighter reports for, they face the unknown. They never know what type of call they will answer on any given day. They never know if it could be their last shift. As I write this article, a firefighter was killed in the line of duty just days ago while fighting a fire in a commercial building in Buffalo, New York. That firefighter showed up to the firehouse to report for duty not knowing he would never see his family again. His fire engine would return to their firehouse with an empty seat where he used to sit. His crew will have to deal with his loss and never know if something could have been done differently to prevent this loss. His family was proud of him being a firefighter but now must plan a funeral for him and live the rest of their lives with only a memory of him. This is just one example of a firefighter death. Each year in the United States, approximately 100 firefighters are killed in the line of duty. Their deaths range from dying in house fires to cardiac arrest from the stresses of being a firefighter. Firefighter have been ambushed by gunmen and struck by vehicles on highways. There is no limit to the ways firefighters are killed on duty. Even when faced with these potentially deadly outcomes, firefighters are still willing to come to work every shift and put others first. They are called to this profession, even knowing they could easily be working their last shift. This is why firefighting is a calling.

Firefighters have also recently faced another problem that continues to grow in the American fire service: suicide. Firefighter suicides have skyrocketed over the past few years. More firefighters are dying from suicides than in the line of duty. Since 2014, reported suicides have outnumbered the line-of-duty deaths (LODDs) in the United States by almost three suicides to every LODD. No one knows exactly why or can explain this increase in suicides with certainty. One reason may be the increased number of calls firefighters are answering every year. Incidents have increased, so the number of calls that a firefighter will answer will ultimately increase. In addition, the severity of those calls has increased. The mass casualty shootings have increased like never before. The amount of death a firefighter sees on a regular basis would astound many people. The gruesome ways people die will have an impact on the firefighters who respond to these scenes. Human beings are not meant to see such things. Yet, every shift they report for duty not knowing what the day will bring. This is just another reason that they say firefighting is a calling.

Firefighters must learn how to deal with the stresses of the job. They need to find their outlet. Some have turned to alcohol, some to drugs, some take out their frustrations on their families and significant others. These are not the options others would like to see but it is the truth. The fire service is trying to help. There are many outlets available to allow firefighters to decompress and allow them to relieve those stresses that they deal with. Many mental health care facilities have opened nationwide. These facilities have dedicated clinicians who deal specifically with first responders and firefighters. Finding healthy outlets can be very beneficial to the firefighters. For many years, firefighters did not ask for help. There was a stigma that asking for help was a weakness. It was taboo for a firefighter to ask for help. Firefighters are the ones people look to for help; they cannot go to others for help. Thankfully, in recent years, this stigma has been broken. Asking for help is not frowned on like in the past. Asking for help is a sign of strength. Showing you need help just means that you are a human being and cannot deal with the stresses alone. Seeking help is the best thing you can do when you need it. Remember this, “It is OK to not be OK.”

I, as many firefighters I know, have dealt with the stresses of firefighting. I have seen my fair share of death and loss. I have worked calls where the crew is doing everything in their power to save a life while the family looks on with disbelief. We are their last hope and, in many cases, there is nothing we can do to save their family member. We must break that news to them. I have run calls where the patient reminded me of my own children. All of this takes a toll on you. Year after year, we work holidays and it seems inevitable that someone will be dispatched to a cardiac arrest on Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day. We have to work our hardest and, in many cases, unsuccessfully in front of the family on their special holiday. Seeing people at their lowest point in life and having them rely on us to make a difference takes its toll.

As I write this article, I realize I am not immune to any of these issues. I have had to tell a wife that we could not save her husband and tell a young mother that we did everything for her newborn baby but he did not survive. This takes a toll on you. I have also lost very good friends in this profession we know as firefighting. I have lost friends to vehicle accidents, cancer, and suicide. I lost my blood brother to suicide. We shared this honorable profession together for more than 20 years when he decided to take his own life. I will never be able to talk to him again or to ask him why. These things take their toll.

I have written all of this to ask the question: Would you do it again? I would answer this with 100% YES, I would do it all over again. I have asked many firefighters I know this same question, many who have similar issues or have seen horrible things in their career. They all answer the same way. YES, I would absolutely do it again. This is another example of how firefighters are called into this profession. They willingly submit themselves to these things. I love this profession and I would do it all over again if given the opportunity. There are some major changes that I would make but I would absolutely do it again.

What changes would I make? I would change my way of dealing with the stresses that come from this profession. I would find that outlet sooner in my career. Everyone should find that one thing that makes them happy. Go to your happy place as often as you can. Do not bring the issues from the fire service into your personal life. It is one thing to talk and express yourself and feelings with your spouse, but do not take your issues out on family.

Another thing is to release those feelings that are in you. Do not allow yourself to let these things build up. Keeping these feelings in will build up and eventually overflow. I have many times caught myself holding things in. I would put myself in the shoes of the people we try to help. I would feel horrible for not being able to make a difference. I know I did everything I could but I would still feel guilty for a family’s loss. I would let that guilt eat at me. I would catch myself playing the victim for other people’s stories.

Another thing I would change is that I would release all the stress and allow myself to move forward, not taking the guilt. As long as I train hard, learn my job, and do everything I know to do, I have to accept that and not feel guilty. All we can do is our best. We need to realize that everything happens for a reason and people will die. Sometimes it does not matter what we do; if it is their time, it is their time. We cannot allow other people’s problems or losses to affect our life. It is okay to feel bad for them and to sympathize with them, but do not feel guilty for living when others may be dying. Life is a gift and is meant to be lived. I have heard a saying, “You only die once; live every day.” This sums it up for me: Live every day to the fullest. Do not waste your time worrying or feeling bad for something you cannot change.

So, would you do it again? Would you sacrifice your life again by entering this profession? Would you still put others first? Would you become a firefighter again, knowing what you know now? If you were able to, would you do it again? Would you change how you do things? Firefighting, in my opinion is the best job in the world. Being a firefighter has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I would do it all over again if given the opportunity. Would you? Would you take on this calling again? I certainly hope so.

BIO:

Steven Negedly has been in the fire service since 1993 and is a lieutenant in the Orlando (FL) Fire Department since 2003. He has an associates degree in general studies and fire science and a bachelor’s degree in fire and emergency services from the University of Florida. He has been director of the Orlando Fire Conference since 2016 and is part owner of Professional Testing Consultants, which conducts promotional assessments for fire departments.

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