My dad worked for an advertising company for 30 years and hated going to work every day he worked there. He had a wife and six children at home and couldn’t leave his job and the security and benefits it provided. But he was a smart man, and he wanted better for his children. He would tell me, “If your vocation and avocation were one and the same, you’d never work a day in your life.” He told me to do whatever I wanted, but to be the best at what I do. I had his full support as long as I did my best, and I am very thankful for this.
Growing up, I could sometimes be a handful and really test my dad’s patience. He’d tell me, “If you keep up this nonsense, you’re going to end up behind bars!” But he was always there for me. His steady hand is the reason I keep on the straight and narrow.
My dad was thrilled that I realized my dream and became a firefighter and then a lieutenant in the New York City Fire Department (FDNY). Every time we spoke, he would ask, “How’s the job going?” Knowing I was happy at work meant the world to him. When I was promoted to captain, I sent my dad a set of captain’s bars (or “collar brass,” as we call them). He was right–I finally ended up behind bars! He was so proud of me, it made my promotion even better.
My dad–a husband, father and World War II bomber pilot who flew 65 missions over hostile territories–passed away this February. He was a very positive influence on my life. I can only hope to be as much of an influence on the people with whom I come in contact, both in the fire service and my family life, as he was on me. I am a living tribute to my dad, whom I miss very much.
Remember What Matters
My father’s encouragement to follow my dreams has led me to a career I can’t really call a job. It’s what I love, and I love going to work each day. Although I’ve been an officer in the FDNY since January 1994 and a captain since July 2000, I’m still learning. I learn something at every fire I respond to, because I can always do things a little different or better. The bottom line: If you’re only here for the paycheck, you’re missing the point.
But there’s another reason I continue to learn how to do my job better: I have two beautiful daughters who want me home at the end of my tour. My most important job is to be their dad because, as my father was my role model and supporter, so I strive to be theirs. I’m the one who’s going to walk them down the aisle; I’m the one their boyfriends must get through to take them out. If I’m not here, who will do these things? Will that person be as dedicated to them as me? Probably not. I want to be a part of my kids’ lives. I want to retire with my wife to enjoy what we’ve worked for together.
I presume you want the same for yourself and your family. We must therefore remain aware of how the risks we take every day impact our families. Do they know you love them, and do they know that you’re doing your best to come home at the end of each and every tour?
Weighing Risk
I’ve made many mistakes in the course of my career, but I’ve tried to learn from them. I also read, drill and train constantly. As a friend of mine says, “A wise man learns from his mistakes, and a wiser man learns form the mistakes of others.” Remember: Keep learning!
You must ask yourself: Are you giving the fire department your best? Are you willing to drill, train and learn? If not, go home! If you’re only willing to show up–but not step up–then you’re not a part of the company or department you work for, and you’re putting the lives of your brothers and sisters at risk. Firefighters and officers must be ready every time they go to work. The fire service, much like the military, needs members who are willing to know their jobs and constantly strive for improvement.
The fire service is like the military in many ways. In fact, we’re supposed to be a paramilitary organization, meaning we follow orders and a structure put in place by our standard operating guidelines. There is no room for debate on the fireground. Can you imagine a fire where every task and order is discussed? The building would be long gone before anything was done to extinguish the fire. We need structure and order at every fire to ensure jobs are done and tasks completed.
A risk-vs.-rewards analysis is something we must do at every fire. We must ask ourselves: Is this fire a loser? Is the building at risk? What can injure or hurt me and the members of my team? What strategy is the incident commander undertaking? Unless you remain constantly aware of the fireground conditions, you don’t know the risks you’re taking, and you stand to put your team in jeopardy for no good reason. Anyone who claims to know everything about the fire service should do their crew a favor and retire.
Conclusion
A firefighter’s job is an important one, and we stand to do a lot of good if we’re properly trained and constantly aware of fireground conditions and strategies. It takes a lot of work, and sometimes the outcome is tragic despite our best efforts.
My family has definitely seen me come home banged up and bruised from giving it all at a fire. It’s what we do most of the time–put it all on the line. But sometimes we put it all on the line without sufficient reason. Sometimes we get lazy. The results of this can be disastrous. Remember: Your family is depending on you to come home; don’t disappoint them.
