Tradition. It defines the fire service more than it does any other profession. We live and die by our traditions. They influence the way we fight fires, the color of our rigs, the aesthetics of our uniforms, and even defines the culture of our organizations. Yet no tradition is more apparent and universally practiced than the pageantry of firehouse banter. I’m not talking about pithy insults or snide remarks–a good roast, laced with a brand of humor only your colleagues would appreciate, is the stuff strong bonds are built upon in the firehouse.
Some say the great tradition of busting chops is an oft-ignored truth, and that insults are merely a form of flattery. We only mock the ones we love, right? Others believe it is a skill attained after years on the job. A privilege reserved for a barn boss or blue shirt veteran as a way of indoctrinating recruits into the brotherhood. Nobody knows for sure why we engage in such mischievous behavior, especially given that our profession is deeply rooted in honor, integrity, and respect. One thing is for sure. A good-natured ribbing, even when you are the target, is the glue of camaraderie that keeps us all sane through hard times and slow days.
However, there is a fine line between sophomoric humor and mouthing off indiscriminately. To ensure that you never fall on the wrong side of that line, here are a few rules to roasting your fellow firehouse brethren without getting burned. These rules aren’t meant to encourage or incite bad behavior. They are only meant to serve as a moral compass to help you navigate your way through the gray area of exchanging jibs and jabs with your shift mates.
Rule 1: Significant others are off-limits.
This limitation is harder to respect than it might seem. After all, nothing says more about a person than their choice of mate. Even harder to resist are those cases in which a significant other’s influence is directly to blame for a firefighter’s worst decisions. They dominate free time, veto plans, even dictate outfits. While these subjects of our affection may occasionally and accidentally get caught in the crossfire, they must never be the target. Let’s also agree that mothers should be considered off-limits as well. Enough said.
Rule 2: Loose lips sink shifts.
There’s a time and place for everything, and this is especially true when wielding wisecracks at your shift mates. The dayroom, private quarters, in the cab on the way back from a run and after work gatherings are all good “staging” areas to brush up on your standup comedy. However, during training, public education details, and on social media, quips are not only inappropriate and unprofessional, but could put you and your department in a very bad situation. When you see an opportunity that is to ripe to pass up, do a quick scene size-up. If the ratio of instant belly laughs to future grief is in your favor, then fire at will.
Rule 3: Preplan. Preplan. Preplan.
Before you engage in a friendly war of words with fellow firefighters, gather as much information about them as possible. Nicknames, tattoos, pet peeves, special interests, musical tastes. The deep, dark stuff shared only between close friends. Blunders, mishaps, foot-in-mouth incidents–some tidbits are so ripe for comedic exploitation, it’s easy to see why some of us are better targets than others. The more you know about a person, the better prepared you’ll be when the jabs start flying–and the better your bond becomes when the time for joking has passed.
Rule 4: Beat them to the punch… line.
Some people are good and persistent at delivering a barrage of barbs. And let’s face it, their persistence ensures that we don’t make a fool of ourselves too often. It also reminds us that people are always paying attention to the job we’re doing. If you’re itching to get into the game but worried doing so may backfire, try using yourself as the butt of your jokes. Little gems like, “Hey, has anybody seen the water hammer?” or “It’s time to refill the blinker fluid on the ambulance,” are sure to get a few laughs from the fellas. When you use yourself as the goat, nobody gets hurt and you look like the good guy in the end. Besides, pointing out your flaws rather than someone’s ensures that you’ll never run out of good material.
Rule 5: Show a little mercy, please.
There’s a look in a person’s eyes that reveals when they’ve had enough. True friends know it instantly. That’s the one line you should never cross. Reciting one’s untimely blunders and declaring ineptitudes may bruise egos, but should never break bonds. While we always remember a good old-fashioned ribbing, we never forget when it’s gone too far.
Firefighters are not perfect, but for a few minutes at certain times of the day we have to be. Lives hang in the balance of our decisions, our skills, and our unwavering commitment to doing the job no matter how grim or dire the situation may be. The pockets of time between those powerfully complex moments should be filled, on occasion, with laughter and lightheartedness. It’s our way of dealing with all that we endure throughout a career of saving lives and protecting property. The proper busting of chops is and will be a necessary dynamic to the firehouse environment that keeps us from burning out … too quickly.
