By Denis Onieal
Recently, three longtime friends, Bobby Halton, Ron Coleman, and John McGrath, passed away; in each case, we were friends for more than 30 years. As I reflect on their careers and friendship, it becomes clear that each was a special kind of leader. While their styles differed, they each displayed an uncommon talent—something I’ll term “meta-leadership”—someone who is not only an exemplary leader in an organization or profession but someone who goes the extra step by creating new leaders in the process. Each of them left a cadre of leaders behind them that will influence the rest of the 21st Century.
They didn’t follow the same path. To Bobby, firefighting was a religious obligation tempered by a dissertation-quality bibliography of knowledge. Ron was a Socratic teacher, using delicate inquiry and philosophic questioning to expand your knowledge and perhaps tumble one or two of your beliefs. John was a mission-focused thinker with an intensity that knew no bounds; there was never any question as to where he stood on an issue.
Meta-leaders in the fire service are a rare and special breed; they’re a step above. They make a difference. They give rather than take. Whether chief officers or firefighters, they lead through thought, word, and deed—mostly deed. By their example, they shape the next generation—the fire service leaders of the future. Large city career or small-town volunteer, whatever is good about the fire service today and the future is testimony to their dedication and talents.
I had a professor at New York University, Neil Postman. He was a remarkable man—absolutely brilliant. He was as funny as he was brilliant, among the most intelligent people I’ve ever met. When he passed away, his obituary in The New York Times quoted him. Dr. Postman had a lifelong passion for educating children. He absolutely loved watching them learn. He said that “Children are the living messages we send to a future we shall not live to see.”
The meta-leaders in the fire service realize that today’s younger firefighters are the living messages they will send to a future fire service that they did not (nor will we) live to see. That’s a unique way of looking at it and a pretty awesome responsibility. Meta-leaders influence far beyond their years.
You probably think you’re only one person—that you can’t make that much of a difference—but you can. A lot of people have, and there’s a story about the difference that one person can make.
This is a story that Paul Harvey told on his “The Rest of the Story” radio show—the difference that one person can make in the life of another. It’s about a boy named Joey Barrow, a teenager whose classmates in school called a ‘sissy’—not a very kind term in those days. When Joey was a teenager, while his friends were playing basketball and football, Joey Barrow was taking violin lessons. Joey’s Mom insisted that he take violin lessons in the hope that one day he’d “make something of himself.”
One day in school, Joey was once again picked on by one of his classmates, and it was more than he could take. He took his violin case and smacked the classmate on the head. When the rest of the class heard about it, they laughed and taunted Joey even more. He couldn’t even fight with his fists—he had to use his violin case as a weapon.
One student, Thurston McKinney, didn’t laugh. He was one of the bigger kids in the class, and Thurston decided that Joey had taken enough; that he needed some help learning to fight. He took Joey to the gym one afternoon, and as always, Joey had his violin with him. Thurston explained to Joey that he’d need a gym locker, and the only money Joey had was the money his mother gave him for the violin lesson. He borrowed some sneakers and gym shorts from Thurston and spent the violin lesson money on a locker. The violin may still be in that locker.
Thurston showed Joey how to spar in the boxing ring. Within minutes, Joey had accidentally hit Thurston so hard that he flattened him. You have to understand that Thurston was no ordinary gym kid. At the time, Thurston McKinney was THE Detroit Golden Gloves Champion, and his back had never hit the canvas. Joey started backing up in fear as Thurston began to stand up, but Thurston told Joey, “Throw that violin away!”
Encouraged by Thurston, Joey spent a lot of time in the gym, and each week used his violin lesson money to rent a gym locker. In just five years, at the age of twenty-three, Joey Barrow was the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. No one knows what happened to Thurston, but it was his inspiration and his mentorship that changed Joey’s life forever.
One more thing. When he started boxing professionally, his name was in all the newspapers. Joey was afraid that his mother would read about him. He didn’t want his mother to know that he had stopped taking violin lessons and started boxing professionally, so he changed his name. Everyone’s afraid of Mom finding out!
And the world knew for years, before his mother ever did, that the sissy Joey Barrow had changed his name to Joe Louis.
I suppose that anyone who ever played sports, at one time or another, dreamed of being a champion like Joe Louis, but meta-leaders think more about being a Thurston McKinney.
Let’s compare the champions to the Thurston McKinneys of this world: Can you name the two wealthiest people in the world after Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffett? Name two people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize? Name two Academy Award winners for best actor and actress?
The point is that none of us remember the leaders of yesterday. Even though these people were first-rate achievers in their day, they’re no longer on top. They were the best in their fields once, but fame is fleeting—and you can’t remember any of them. The applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. That’s life.
Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one. How many of you can: Name a teacher who aided your journey through school? Name a senior firefighter who showed you how to do something important or useful—some ‘trick of the trade’? Name a fire officer who helped your career by encouraging you to advance in rank and responsibility?
That was that easier because the people who make a difference in life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They aren’t champions; they’re the meta-leaders. They’re the Haltons, Colemans, McGraths, and McKinneys of this world. Firefighters and officers help people all the time, but meta-leaders give much more than that—meta-leaders create new leaders.
The true test of leadership is behavior; your attitude, your willingness to work without recognition, and your contributions to something bigger than yourself. That’s what leaders do. The meta-leaders take an extra step by choosing to share their knowledge and inspire others to become leaders.
In closing, there are two simple questions: “Are you a Bobby, Ron, John, or a Thurston?” “Are you a meta-leader creating new leaders to become living messages to a future fire service that you will not live to see?”
I hope so. Someone probably did it for you. It’s time for you to pay it forward.
Bio:
Denis Onieal has served as Deputy U.S. Fire Administrator, superintendent of the National Fire Academy, and chief of the Jersey City (NJ) Fire Department. He was awarded the Fire Engineering Lifetime Achievement Award at FDIC 2007.