By Adam Neff
You can read any one of the thousands of books on leadership, and every one of them talks about the need for trust. I would not disagree; trust is the fundamental foundation of any leadership relationship. Trust is more than giving a fair evaluation or “liking” the person. The trust that I am talking about is the kind that shows up when you’re clinging to a windowsill at three in the morning. The trust I am talking about is the one that speaks up during a meeting and owns responsibility for the outcome. Trust is the action that stands up and says, “I told them to do that”!
The return on this level of trust is loyalty and trust in return; trust is fluid. It takes a lifetime to earn and minutes to lose it. The leadership books that I have read and the conferences I have attended all talk about the need to build trust and only touch on the idea of how to build trust with people. So, how do we get there, what actions do we need to take to build this level of trust with our people, and where do we start?
Trust starts in the firehouse with small, seemingly insignificant, actions and words. Every assignment, every chore, every drill, and every conversation are opportunities to build trust with your team. Little things equal big things; that goes for the good things and the bad things. There is a saying that I learned as a young recruit firefighter that I am sure every firehouse has its own version of: “If I cannot trust you to clean the toilet, how can I trust you to do something that really matters?” This statement is money. Every day, there are chiefs who walk into firehouse bathrooms and get a great idea of how that company is run and the level of trust within the company. What does your firehouse bathroom say about your crew? What does it say about the organization? It all matters, and if the firehouse is squared away, then it is a safe bet the crew is squared away.
Everyone wants to do a good job
I firmly believe that everyone in the firehouse wants to do the best job they can. I cannot fathom any firefighter at any level waking up in the morning and saying, “I hope I mess everything up today.” That just does not make sense, but every day at all levels of the organization, expectations are missed. For the chiefs reading this, you hired, promoted, and allowed the behavior at some point. Remember, little things equal big things! For the fire officer in the stations, what you allow or what you cover up will continue to grow until you cannot hide it any longer.
So, if we all agree that at some level everyone is here to do the best job they can and if expectations are communicated clearly, why do we still miss the mark? I also believe that leaders are doing the best job they can and communicate to the best of their ability. I will give you an example: If I ask my daughter who is a toddler to clean her room, I am feeling pretty good because I have clearly communicated my expectations. My daughter’s desire is to do things that make me proud of her, she does not have a desire to make dad mad. So, after a little while, I come back and check her progress and she is beaming with satisfaction because she has cleaned her room. I give her praise and then I check under her bed and in the closet. She is smart and manages to place everything under her bed and in her closet because that is her idea of cleaning. I am frustrated because it is not cleaned the way that I expected. Then that changes into a negative thought of why she tried to “pull a fast one on dad.” But was it really her intention? This example is basic, but the breakdown might not be how expectations are communicated or that the firefighter does not want to do a good job. I believe it is a process issue. Maybe we need to spend a little more time investing in what the finished product looks like. In my example, if I had taken my daughter by the hand and shown her exactly what I was talking about, she would have a better understanding of dad’s expectations. Likewise, if we take the time and explain to our people what we expect and show them exactly what we are talking about to ensure that expectations are understood, we create more opportunities for success. When we invest in our people to ensure that the simplest tasks are communicated and why they are important, it starts to build trust. It is in the firehouse where we start to build this process. If you are frustrated because of a missed expectation and you did not follow up, then that is on you, and you just missed an opportunity for trust building, communication improvement, and success for the future.
Communication
In every complaint or issue that I have dealt with, somewhere within the situation there has always been a breakdown in communication. In every NIOSH report, somewhere listed within contributing factors to the situation is communication. There is nothing we currently do more in a day than use a form of communication, and we still get it wrong regularly. The Thoughtful Leader identifies five common mistakes for communication breakdown. I will summarize them below, but you can find the full article here https://www.thoughtfulleader.com/communication-breakdown/.
- Communication is more than sending a message. If you are just sending an e-mail on a mission-critical topic and then subsequently frustrated that the execution is less than desirable, we have a breakdown.
- Because we all work in the fire service and have similar experiences, we assume we communicate the same way. Wrong! That word assume is the tipping point for the communication breakdown.
- Our firefighters want to do the best job they can; however, they have not learned the ability to read minds. When we assume they already know what we want, we as leaders have had more time to process, prioritize, and be more thoughtful in our assessment. How would the people know that? They are not mind readers. We are having a communication breakdown.
- Communication is not always a “need to know basis,” but certainly some information is. However, what I am talking about is we tend to spend too much time wondering how the information could be taken and if firefighters can cope with it and trying to create the perfect message, especially in conflict. We are creating a breakdown when are guessing/assuming what others are going to think (see second bullet).
- Conflict is a huge barrier to effective communication. When emotions are high, logic is low. You could be avoiding the person because you simply do not like them, and the communication message could change to shorten the interaction. This will obviously make the message misunderstood, misheard, or even ignored. We are having a communication breakdown every time in this situation.
There are more reasons communications can break down; however, when you have trust and when you invest in people and you are genuine, there will be more opportunity to get communication right. The famed author, speaker, and social worker Dr. Brene Brown has said, “Clarity is caring,” and we know that communication is not all on the sender. The receiver also plays a part in asking questions and seeking clarity. However, if there is not trust, the receiver will not ask questions, will make assumptions, and have no ownership in the outcome. If we are not winning in the firehouse, then we are setting up for failure on the fireground.
Action steps
I have highlighted some issues and given an example or two about how quickly small issues can become major problems. If you have had any time on this planet, I will say you have experienced many more examples of trust issues and communication breakdowns of your own, but I also want to give some perspective on how to move forward. If we can agree that trust is critical to the leadership/followership relationship and communication is equally important to building trust, how do we keep the trust ship moving forward? Let’s first look at some action items to put into play before we completely lose the trust we have already built.
These are some action steps to put into place when having difficult conversations that have worked well for me.
- Slow down. When we are full of emotions (anger, frustration, or disappointment), our message becomes disorganized. When you noticed the issue, communicate the issue to the firefighter, and set up a time to meet. Even if they want to talk with you about it right now, don’t. You want to give them a heads up so they are prepared but so that you can also get prepared. If it is not mission critical, then slow down.
- Call the timeout. During the conversation, if you notice the temperature in the room become elevated, call a timeout. When emotions are high and logic is low, it is a good bet that the message will not be heard or understood. Remember when you call a timeout to set up a time to come back to the conversation; it must be finished.
- Be specific. Give examples. Do not use generalities, especially if the conversation will be disciplinary in nature.
The examples above not only help with communication but also help to build trust. Below I have listed some actions steps to build trust with your folks every day in the firehouse. Some of these will look like we are praising them for doing the job they should be doing anyway, and you are right: Everybody likes to be told they are doing a good job, even if it’s part of their everyday job or job description.
- Tell them they are doing a good job. Be specific; give examples of what you noticed. When you do that, the firefighters are more likely to do their very best because they know you are paying attention. Additionally, when things do not go according to plan, you spend less time discussing ownership of the problem and often the firefighters will be harder on themselves.
- Do not take yourself so seriously. Let your guard down; it does not matter what level of the organization you are. It is okay to relax and have fun. If the firefighters only see you during disciplinary hearings, they will avoid you the rest of the time. If the only interaction with you is negative in nature, then nature says to avoid it.
- Communicate often. Remember, everyone likes to know what is going on, and having regular conversations with firefighters helps squash the rumor mill and builds trust. The regular conversations also foster an environment of questions. The firefighters trust that you will communicate with them what you can and that you will provide an opportunity for them to ask questions. This builds trust in the firehouse and will also help squash the rumor mill.
- Be honest. If you are honest with people, I like to think that people will be honest with you. If they aren’t, that is on them, not on you. People will make up their own narrative; do not get derailed. Again, if we invest into the relationship in small increments, we will be able to count on people more with more.
Go with what you know
I am a big fan of being intentional with our actions; you already know all the players. You know the relationships that you already have and who your challenges are with. If you have had trust breakdowns in the past, there is still hope for the future, and not all is lost. Taking ownership in your role with the breakdown will help to start the rebuilding process. It will take time, and it will not be easy. However, trust builds trust, and honesty is respected more than perfection. Winning in the firehouse will lead to victories on the fireground.
BIO:
Adam Neff is a 27-year fire service veteran and the assistant chief of training and operations for the Nixa (MO) Fire Protection District. He has a Chief Fire Officer Designation, a master’s degree in emergency services management, and a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling.
