By David Keyser
Compliments, praise, and encouragement are expected to come from above and never below. Even from childhood, we are searching, working, learning, and yearning for someone to tell us what a good job we did on our math test or how many points we scored in Saturday’s game. My father died when I was eight years old, and I craved that kind of support and encouragement from a male role model my entire childhood. I found that support in coaches, teachers, other successful male figures on my dad’s side of the family, and even in the military. I worked for their praise, and when things got tough I had their support. That support came in the form of motivational speeches, active listening, offering advice, and just acknowledging I’m going though something and that I am not alone.
I worked hard and overcame many difficulties to get to where I am as a company officer, and sometimes I forgot to offer the right support back to those below my chain of command. Through no intentional fault of my own, I got caught up in other duties or focused too much on things other than those I was in charge of. When you’ve reached a certain point in the chain of leadership, kind words and even support from the bay floor can be rare. From the chief of the department to the first day recruit, whether you have adequate support or never got it, this article is for you.
If you always knew this was what you wanted to be when you grew up and are having the time of your life five or more years into the job, I couldn’t be happier for you. Folks like me fell into this after leaving the military and found a new home. Whatever your unique instance may be, we’re all here and we need each other more than ever. The communities we serve need us more than ever, and staying the course can be difficult. We all experience burnout at some point and in multiple periods throughout our careers. Discouragement from various things like failing an assessment, messing up on the fireground, or experiencing frequent trauma with no sight of a break piles high and weighs heavy on the mind and heart.
Have you gotten to the point of such fatigue you wanted to quit? Are you there now? I understand life can be hard and the financial constraints placed on all firefighters across the country are taking their toll. The repeated trauma from so many bad calls continues to add up. One bad call is enough, but when they keep happening you feel like you can’t escape them. Your significant other doesn’t understand why you’re so “moody” and thinks you’re detached simply because you need time to decompress and get away from the house for a while. Maybe you’re looking for another job outside of the fire service because you feel like there’s nothing left for you here anymore.
Whatever your own unique case may be, we’re all here too. We all feel or have felt the same things before or even right now. We can’t blink and make it go away, but we can get through this together. You’re not alone. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Learn to love and forgive yourself for your own mistakes, no matter how big or small they were. We’re not perfect; we’re human, and that’s OK. Don’t focus on what went wrong and talk about what went right. Problems don’t dissolve because we hid them or kept them secret from everyone. We are a vast network of problems solvers for other people, and we are a grander society of solution finders within ourselves.
The representation of emergency services in the media looks more and more like a bad ending to a long saga of heroism, tradition, and pride. We’re losing personnel to other professions and, sadly, we’re losing personnel to suicide. I know it’s hard, and it has been hard. It’s not a bad life; it’s just a bad time or even a bad day. Things will get better, and you will get through it. Be of good cheer. There’s an awful lot of rain falling around you but above those clouds, the sun is still shining. That rain won’t last forever, and you’ll see the sunshine again soon.
You’re doing just fine. Treat yourself to a weekend away somewhere to clear your mind and start over the coming week. Burn a sick day to take care of yourself. It’s not abusing your leave to heal your mind. If you can’t be completely on the job in body and in mind, then you need to take that sick time to get better. We strive to be the best at what we do and when we fall short of that expectation, we tend to be overly critical and hard on ourselves beyond what is healthy reflection for improvement. Visualize your own value and realize your own potential because it’s so much more than you can fathom.
To the new recruit:
You’ve managed to survive your recruit academy. Congratulations. It’s the first of many accomplishments you should hope to see in your career. I am proud to have you among one of the finest services and brotherhoods in the nation. We need every last one of you to fall in love with this job and remember daily why you wanted to be here so badly.
Things may be tough as a new recruit, but remember, you’re not alone. We all had to do the same things and endure the same grueling tasks and endless training. Don’t rush this time in your career. You’ll want all the experience and knowledge to pull from when you find yourself in the captain’s seat one day. If you’re feeling down because you’re not getting the hang of things or feel like all your captain does is yell at you for messing up, don’t worry. Things do get better once you’ve proven yourself to your company and pass all your assessments. Keep up the good work, recruit. Good job.
To the veteran firefighter:
You’ve been around the block a few times and you’ve seen the seasons change. You’ve got the experience to really help the new kids out behind you. Don’t get frustrated when they aren’t getting it and you have to repeat things 100 times or run the same drill 200 times. The time you spend on them is a long-term investment. They won’t forget the time you spent on them. I’m glad you decided to stick around after probation and see what this business is all about. You know by now that nothing lasts forever and things do get better. Remember that this really is the best job in the world and there’s nothing else like it. Why did you want to be a firefighter to begin with? Remember that reason and reflect on it often.
It’s easy to complain about what’s going wrong and what isn’t working and, in most cases, you can’t change it. What you can change is how you feel about it. That can be the hardest thing to do in that situation, but it offers the best outcome for yourself and ultimately those around you. You are a valuable asset with how much has been invested in you with the knowledge you possess. You are worth more than you may ever know to those around you and as a human being.
To the driver/engineer/chauffeur:
You’ve made it to the best job on the rig. For those who are there, you know how much fun it is and to those who haven’t made it yet, you don’t know what you’re missing. Although it is so much fun driving emergency traffic, flying solo on the roof, being a little bit of your own boss, and generally not having the captain breathing down your back, it has the most liability. You’ve got your whole company’s safety in mind from point A to point B everywhere, every shift.
If you’re the ladder driver, you’ve got more people to be responsible for when operating on the roof as a vent team. Then, you have all the people below you counting on you for accurate and timely vent choices. You’re a role model to the firefighters around you and know more than enough to offer advice and guidance when needed. How well do you know the streets in your district or even your city? Being a subject matter expert in street knowledge really is something to be sought after. Technology is a wonderful tool, but relying on it when your battery is dead or signal is lost can be a handicap.
How do your personal and career goals stack up? What’s in your future? You are one of the most coveted persons in any department. Not only do you possess the fundamental firefighting knowledge and the experience, but you also operate the apparatus. That’s additional training, time, and money that’s been invested in you. We can’t pull random people off the sidewalk and replace you when you’re gone. We can’t even replace you with a veteran firefighter immediately when you’re gone.
To get to the level of a well-rounded and seasoned driver takes years of driving experience beyond the firefighter. Don’t ever feel like you made the wrong choice to advance early in your career to driver. You’re a priceless asset to your department that so many others wish they had.
To the company officer:
You may not have heard an encouraging word in a while or maybe you have. Things can be tough with those in your company who just have a bad attitude or want to buck the system every chance they get. Over time, you just learn how to handle personalities who can’t be dealt with like everyone else. It’s tricky but takes a certain skill you only learn with experience. To those who have a bang-up company, good for you.
Meshing well from the get-go does make things easier on you now but doesn’t do much for your relationship building or problem-solving abilities later. Handling personnel issues is what separates a company officer from a supervisor. Patience really is a virtue and will serve you well to not make decisions when you’re emotionally charged. Just take a deep breath and think before you act. Consider yourself and what you want to see in your company and yourself. What do you want for your company the most? How can you best serve them while improving your skills as a leader? Set objectives and goals for yourself and your company and revisit them often. Be a life- long learner and be committed to serving those you’ve been entrusted to take care of.
To the chief officer:
This is a position in which you may find the least amount of support. I think peer support can even be slim at times but let this serve as a reminder that your efforts are not in vain. The time you spend after regular hours is noticed by everyone, and the acknowledgment of someone else’s existence goes far. Take the time to tell stories to the younger firefighters.
Sometimes the younger generation needs to know you’re still human and you were in their shoes once before. Knowing some of the pranks you pulled or hairy situations you found yourself in can be relaxing or encouraging to the newbies. Your knowledge is only useful when it’s passed on, and you are a wealth of it. If you’ve spent your career looking after those under your command, you’re doing the right thing and we can’t thank you enough.
To every member of the fire service still showing up and putting in the work, thank you. Thank you, a hundred times, over for remaining committed and alive for just one more day. You’re a valued human being and no one can ever take that away from you.
BIO:
David Keyser is a captain of the Salisbury (NC) Fire Department hazmat team and has been a member of the fire service since 2011. He received a bachelor’s degree in fire and emergency services administration from Fayetteville State University in 2019.
