FF Funerals

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Permalink Reply by Beverly on January 25, 2009 at 10:46am

Adam, Perhaps her question has more to do with her fear of death and loss than of not understanding the brotherhood. Many people avoid discussing death and its causes and effects, this is especially true outside of the emergency services. We see and experience death on a regular basis (unfortunately), where most people have this happen only a few times in their lives. Everyone has a different way of coping with death, our often irreverent outlook on death allows us to cope with the overwhelming toll that we are frequently asked to pay, and those outside our "circle" have a hard time understanding.
If she is willing to listen, talk to her about how losing a fellow firefighter makes you feel. Has she ever gone to a funeral for the relative of a friend? Then that may help her understand, you don't necessarily have to know the deceased but you know a family member ( and we are all one family).
Hope this helped.

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Permalink Reply by Art "ChiefReason" Goodrich on January 25, 2009 at 11:36am

I think that people not familiar with the fire service kind of freak out because of the solemn ceremony that occurs at a firefighter funeral or a cop's funeral for that matter.
Think about it; you won't see a thousand plumbers gathered in their best cover-alls, you won't see electricians or carpenters or sanitary workers or teachers assemble en masse to say good bye.
You will only see it in public safety.
And in my mind; the general public doesn't HAVE to understand it. Just don't question or denigrate it.
TCSS.
Art

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Permalink Reply by Tiger Schmittendorf on January 25, 2009 at 9:05pm

I agree Art -

There are not many other professions who use the term brotherhood to describe their relationship with their co-workers.

And I share the same frustration when those who don't understand - use their energy to be disrespectful to our solemn traditions but won't put forth the energy to gain an understanding, let alone become a part of our traditions.

Stay safe. Train often.

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Permalink Reply by Ben Waller on May 1, 2009 at 9:59pm

Art,

You also see it in the military, although generally with smaller numbers of attendees.

One factor that often gets overlooked is that the public safety and military professions are the only ones that involve spending a lot of each workday planning ways to make it through the shift alive and unhurt. When one of us don't make it home, it's incumbent on the rest of us to show solidarity with the family of the fallen, and to show them that we are ALL family.

Ben

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Permalink Reply by alan on January 25, 2009 at 9:21pm

explain to her that things like this happen everyday, and that the brotherhood of the fire service is much like being among the best friends you make in grade school and keep the rest of your life. then talk to her, and try to get her to go, so that she can watch and get a basic feel as to what the brotherhood is all about. or show her some forums on here and explain to her that even though most of us will never meet, we are all related in the brotherhood of the fire service. be safe, and remember... 2 in, 2 out

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Permalink Reply by Glen Garland on January 25, 2009 at 9:23pm

We as a fire sevice pay our respects to our fallen brothers and sisters because it's the right thing to do period! The circumstances of the death don't matter at that time. Be it LODD, heroic or otherwise, cardiac, off duty...it doesn't matter! We are also there for the family of the fallen. The support and repect means more to the survivors than we ever know. I have heard from family members long after the ceremony is over about how much the FD support and respect paid during the time of grief meant to them...it really will bring a tear to a glass eye.

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Permalink Reply by Denise Co 29 on January 25, 2009 at 9:27pm

I would just tell her you are going to pay your respects. This is what the brotherhood does . Does she go with you to firefighter functions ? Once she is around it she may understand what it is about. Why not ask her to go with you so she better understands? Do you think this is an option ? Good luck
R.I.P. Captain Gary Stephens

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Permalink Reply by Station10Capt106 on May 1, 2009 at 9:38pm

That is a hard question. You can explain that all firefighter face tough and stressful situations. This brings us all together into a brotherhood and family. We may know know the firefighter that served his final call, but we have all walked in his boots and felt the same flames lick at as as he did. We have all shed the same tears, dealt with the same fears, and supported our fellow firefighters during the aftermath of a bad call.

It is out of respect that we honor those who have fallen. Our dedication, service and sacrifice to the fire service draws us all together and connections us, especially during times of grief, regardless of if we are urban or rural, east coast or west coast, vol or paid . . . the brotherhood of the fire service is the tie that binds.

John

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Permalink Reply by Ben "Batman" Barry on May 1, 2009 at 10:35pm

i would say that no matter where your from or who you are you are a brother in arms. All men are created equal but a select few become brothers

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Permalink Reply by Chief Mike France on September 11, 2009 at 12:41pm

You know it is hard to explain , in the past 4 yrs as being a Chief Officer i have too be in Charge of 5 details and it was the hardest job i have ever done. the first was tough it was my Chief's father who was Past Chief and commissioner and the First Asst. was his grandson, you want it too be perfect and each one after they were all Past Chiefs and 1 FF. So believe me it does not get easy , it hits after everything is done. Tell them this they are your Brother , you respect them and out shear RESPECT an Honor to salute a Brother who passed away.

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Permalink Reply by Jack Curles on September 28, 2009 at 6:13pm

Here is a little uplifting news on the funeral front! Even though our Captain died of a heart attack standing up under the pressure of major lawsuits against our county fire dept. he stood his ground and the federal grand jury found him,(and others),innocent but he didn't live long enough to see it! But all of us rallied around and paid honor to him last weekend! Here is the videos;

http://bainbridgega.com/news/publish/092309bellflower.shtml

http://bainbridgega.com/news/publish/082609harrellsuit.shtml

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