Relationships in the firehouse...what's your take?

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Permalink Reply by Heidi Burks on April 24, 2008 at 1:38am

My husband and I have been married for 17 yrs. We have both been on our dept for 14 yrs. He is now a LT. Do I worry about him when we're on the scene, yes, but I know he is a capable firefighter. He's good at what he does. I know he cares about the safety of the folks around him.
Have I ever been ticked at him while we were on a scene? Probably. We've been married 17 yrs, you don't make it that long with out fighting some and with 14 of those yrs being on our department, some of the arguments have had to be put on hold to go put out someone else's fire, but neither of us would compromise anyone else's safety. Human life is much more valuable than any argument.
Many volunteer fire departments are made up of families. That's how it works in some areas. Personally I have seen relationships come and go throughout our fire department. No matter where you work (paid) or what volunteer work you have people are going to find themselves attracted to each other because of common interests usually starting out with the things that are most important to them.
Hopefully those who share jobs as stressful and dangerous as this can learn to put aside personal feelings until the work is over.
I only hope I can remain detached when I see my son go into his first burning building...

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Permalink Reply by Angela Lee on April 25, 2008 at 1:07pm

I can totally agree with what you are saying. We keep our personal lives off the fire ground. It is a job and we do it well, but you have to remember that and why you are doing it. I do not know how I will react when my son goes into his first fire either.....:)

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Permalink Reply by John Robinson on April 25, 2008 at 12:23pm

Our 250 member department was 100% male, so this never came up. Can't help much I guess.

Doesn't seem like too much of a problem if you are assigned to different companies and/or work different shifts.

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Permalink Reply by Scamehorn on April 25, 2008 at 7:32pm

I've been on with the fire dept for 5 years now. Shortly after I started, my wife asked if I had a problem with her joining the same dept. I had my hesitations, but told her i wouldn't stand in her way. Since the day she started we have never had a problem, and no one else has ever thought of us being married as an issue neither. In fact I'm happy she joind now.
I am also a captain now and still no issues have arosed. The only issue that has ever came up is that if I suit up to go inside a structure... She doesn't and vise versa. There is only one reason for that and thats the two daughters we have at home. If something would go wrong they would loose both parents. Our dept is one huge family anyway. The fact there is a married couple in the dept doesn't affect anything.... Disagree if you like, but I have absolutly no issues with this topic.... As far as conflicts of interest. As a captain, I have to remove myself and allow one of the other captains to deal w/ any conflicts that involves my wife. As far as emotions she knows what she has to do on scene and I know what i have to do on scene. We get are jobs done and go home. Not hard, not an issue.

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Permalink Reply by Anya on April 27, 2008 at 9:37pm

I think that's really good that you two can do that but as for most people, bad idea. I've talked with some of my friends who date girls they work with at the firehouse and when things go sour, it becomes awkward. Emotions will get in the way of common sense sometimes. Maybe it's an age issue? Or, the type of relationship? If after a couple dates stuff happens and you end up breaking up, there may be tension felt among your co-workers.

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Permalink Reply by brenda caldwell on September 8, 2008 at 9:28pm

My husband and I are on the same dept. and he is and officer I am not.I do as i am supposed to and our relationship has nothing to do with it. When on the job we are firefighters. I do worry about him doing certain things but I do not freak I trust him in all he has learned he as to what I have learned. I worried about him more before I joined the dept. We are firefighters on call and husband and wife and parents at home. Guess you could say we are old school.

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